Bring Me To Life
by EdwardsLily
Summary: She was a girl who lost everything worth living for. He was a boy who hid from the truth. Nessie/OC.
1. Preface

**This is just a random idea that popped into my head. You don't have to like it. Renesmee is a pain to write**

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PREFACE

_The sky overhead was dark as pitch, dark as their hearts, threatening to cave in and end the goodness. The stars were but tiny pinpricks in the darkness, almost invisible, almost overtaken by the black._

_It was still. Too still._

_She shivered. It was cold under the trees around the clearing. But she barely noticed the cold. That kind of thing had never bothered her. What bothered her was the pack of people crouched in the clearing in front of her – people she hated, and people she loved._

_Especially him._

_She watched him anxiously; the one she loved the most. He crouched, a blur of russet and silken fur. He growled, the most magical sound – the one that sang her to sleep, the one that kept her from harm._

_Around her, pale white bodies crouched in defense, hissing and snapping. All of them here, protecting her. It was too much. They were at risk._

_Her heart hurt._

_The danger was there, in the flashing red eyes, in the predatory stances. Her heart beat faster, and the bronze-haired one glanced at her in concern._

_He shouldn't be protecting her. Not him. Not the one who had already gone through so much for her. But, selfish as she was, she couldn't even think of him. She couldn't tear her eyes off the colossal wolf that stood between the bronze-haired man and the brown-haired woman._

_This was wrong._

_A flash of fur, a snapping of bones, a high-pitched squealing sound. Blurs of motion, too fast for her half-mortal eyes to follow. They stung with tears, hot, wet, terrifying._

_A howl, one she knew too well. It went straight to her heart. It broke her. The sound cut off and she knew all was lost._

_An explosion of sound, of growls, of snaps, of metallic screeches. The blur of the clearing picked up to a frenzy of motion, fighting to the death, fighting to the end. She didn't bother to try to pick out who was winning, who was dying._

_Did it even matter who made it out anymore? Now that he was gone._

_Gone. Gone. Gone. He couldn't be gone. He'd been her everything all this time. He had done everything for her, been everything for her, had protected her to the very last minute. And what had she done for him? Broken his heart. Made him go against everything he loved. Beaten the odds. For what? For this?_

_This couldn't be. This just couldn't be._

_A life without him, cold and empty, stretched out before her. Her life didn't flash in front of her eyes, her future did. Cold, empty days._

_Without him._

_Without his warmth, without his smile. Her personal sun. She would never see his beauty again. She was all alone. Yes, there was her family. But they could never fill the hole he would leave behind._

_No. It couldn't be. This had to be a bad dream. Wake up! Wake up! No. There was no escape. This was a horrible nightmare. One from which there would be no awakening. A daymare._

_The last thing she felt was a pair of stone-solid arms. Then the blackness overtook her._

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_**Review? It makes the next chapter come faster. Actually, the next chapter is in like... two seconds.**


	2. Wake Up

**Bet you didn't expect it THIS fast. This means the next chapter won't be for like... a million years. Hahaha. Just kidding. This is... pointless. But I PROMISE it's going to get better/interesting/hopefully. **

**I have a lot of time on my hands to write, now that I'm on vacation. I'm going to update Angel today, too, probably.**

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1. WAKE UP

I lay in bed again, with the prospect of another empty day keeping me from motion. There was nothing to do, nothing to say.

Just like yesterday, the day before, and the eternity before that. My life was divided into two pieces now – eons away when it was a happy time, when he was there –, and now, without him, an ocean of loss that would stretch on forever and ever.

Mom stuck her head around the door, and she glided wordlessly to my side. I rolled over to face the wall, and she ignored my body language, rubbing my back softly.

"Nessie, baby. You need to get up."

"No." I barely spoke anymore. My voice felt raspy and horrible. I felt horrible. There was a huge hole in me that would never fill. It was all-consuming. I was the hole. There was no me anymore.

"Please."

I turned to glare at her. "Why? Why should I? Jake's never going to get up again."

"But you need to keep going." She gathered me into her arms and pulled me onto her stone cold lap. I nestled into her chest. "Did I tell you about when your Dad left me once?"

"No." I was sure there were many stories from my parents' past that I didn't know. Based on how clearly in love they were, I wasn't sure if I wanted to know them all.

She took a deep breath. It sounded shaky. "A long time ago – a few years before you were born – when I was still a human…" Mom began to stroke my hair. I closed my eyes, listening. "Something happened that made Edward question if I could ever truly be safe around him. I… got hurt, and Jasper… Well, you know Jasper."

I knew Jasper. He was getting better. He used Mom's perfect self-control as an example for himself. But I knew he couldn't trust himself fully yet.

"Edward made the whole family leave. He was so sure that his being there was going to be bad for me, that he'd only put me in danger. When he left…" Her arms tightened around me. "It was the worst pain I'd ever known. It was the emptiest I've ever felt."

I touched her face, showing her sympathy, showing her that I felt emptiness, too. She took my hand.

"Exactly," she breathed.

"What did you do?" I knew the answer. Dad came back. Dad saved her. Jake was _never_ coming back. It was cruel of her to try to offer me this false hope.

"I found ways to let out the pain. I tried not to think about him, at first, but that only made it worse. So I did my best to find painless ways to make myself remember. I couldn't forget him."

"How?"

"I was reckless." Mom's face grew distant. "I did things that I knew he wouldn't have approved of, because then I could imagine that he cared. That he wouldn't want me to be hurt. It was stupid and careless of me. I'm not suggesting that you do that."

"Then what?"

"Then… then we all have our own ways of coping with things. I found someone else to fill the hole a little. I found Jake." Mom dropped her head, pressing her lips to my forehead, holding me tighter. I knew this was hurting her, too. "He couldn't replace Edward, but he helped me to heal. The thing is, sitting and doing nothing was the worst for me. Once I got out, once I started doing something, I finally was able to wake up.

"I know it hurts, but you have to let yourself forget, you have to make yourself move on. It's not healthy to sit here and wallow. Jake wouldn't have wanted this for you. He would have wanted you to move on, to be happy. Or at least as happy as you can be." She pushed me gently off her lap, sitting me up straight.

"Tomorrow we're all starting at a new school. Alice packed up all your stuff for you when you were sleeping. It's time to move on, Nessie. It's time to wake up."

"I don't want to move on." Panic rose in my throat. I couldn't leave here. This was where I'd lived for as long as I could remember, with Jake always with me. The sheets still smelled like him sometimes, his favorite chair still sat in the same place. All his music sat in haphazard stacks around my floor – I didn't have the strength to move it. This was the place where there were signs of his still being here. If I left, it would be like he'd never existed.

"I know, baby. But we have to. Because a few of them got away that night. We have to get away before they come back for us."

My blood turned to ice. We were in danger here. I was keeping us here, sitting ducks. "I'm sorry. It's all my fault."

They'd left the fight to bring me home, to protect me. Of course some of them would have gotten away.

Who were they? No one had thought to tell me. I just knew they were a threat. And that they were here because of me.

"It's not your fault." Mom grabbed my shoulders and looked me straight in the eye. "You understand? _None_ of this is your fault." She pulled me into the tightest hug yet. "Come on, baby. We're leaving."

"Right now?"

"Yes." She took my hand, pulling me to my feet. "Our plane to Chicago leaves in an hour."

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I sat on the plane, my face pressed to the glass, watching the country slip by underneath me. Chicago. A place so far away. I'd read about it, heard about it on the news. I'd never been there. I'd never thought I'd ever go there.

It was too far away – it wouldn't be green, it wouldn't be wet. We'd know no one. There would be no forests to run through, no place to imagine my big russet wolf standing right behind me. I was at home in Forks. But now… nothing. Grandpa wasn't even coming with us. And Jacob wasn't here to make moving fun.

Aunt Alice slipped into the seat beside me, leaning into my arm. I tried to smile at her. She was so tiny. Her eyes were wide. "Renesmee." Her bell voice was quiet, serious.

"Yes, Alice?" I wrapped an arm around her slight shoulders.

"Promise me something."

"Anything."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dad shoot me a look. The look that said didn't-I-tell-you-not-to-make-unconditional-promisses,-especially-with-Alice? I shrugged apologetically, not really feeling apologetic. I didn't feel anything anymore.

"Promise me you won't grow up to fast." She looked away, not meeting my eyes.

"What do you mean?" I knew I was growing quickly. I was only four. But honestly. "Like… don't become an old lady? You know I have no control over that."

"No, you're not going to have to worry about that. I promise." She tapped her head.

"Then what?"

She looked up at me seriously. "I mean I'm not sure. I can't see you very well, but I had a vision. Things are going to _happen_ in Chicago."

"What kinds of things?"

"It's only fuzzy right now. But don't forget where you came from, okay?"

"I promise," I said. I felt funny, empty, echo-y. My promise rang in my ears after she left, and her words repeated themselves in my mind. They gave me a strange feeling I couldn't quite place.

I drifted off to sleep, wondering.

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**Thanks for reading, if you still are. It's about to get more exciting, once they hit Chi-town.**

**Review? It makes Renesmee less gloomy.  
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	3. Chicago

**I do have ideas... Ooooh. No inspiration, though. I think fan fictions have died. Mine have, at least. I wish it weren't so. Last super-emo Renesmee chapter. Will move on to more excitement soon. That's a promise.**

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**CHICAGO

The Chicago airport was one of the most terrifying things I'd ever seen in my life. I'd never seen quite so many _people_, all in one building. It felt like there were more people here than in all of Forks. It was nerve-wracking, terrifying, and exhilarating all at once. It made me thirsty. Dad squeezed my hand too-tightly when I thought that, and I sneered at him. It wasn't like I was going to do anything.

Alice got stuck at the bag check. I wasn't sure if it was because she had so many bags with her or because the security guard was checking her out. Either way, we made quite a scene. Everyone stared as she argued about all of them indeed being her carryon. I smiled a little. It felt weird. I hadn't smiled in so long.

I noticed something, while we stood there waiting. The people who stopped, the people who stared… they weren't only staring at Alice and her absurd baggage. They stared at us – all of us.

I touched Mom's face, questioning.

She smiled gently and turned me to face a little store, with rows of magazines in the window. The people on the covers of the magazine all were inhumanly beautiful – still mildly unattractive by vampire standards, but pretty enough.

Then Mom rotated me slowly to face Rosalie, and I made the connection. She attracted most of the attention, and she was the most beautiful of us.

I hadn't realized that we were that special. Back home in Forks, the only humans we ever saw knew us for what we were. These people… these people just saw our outer façades, and they stereotyped us for it. Movie stars, they might think. Or very rich, very important.

The attention made me feel uncomfortable. Especially the boy at a little café, who sat with his two parents eating breakfast. His eyes were faceted on me. It was really… awkward.

Dad noticed as soon as I did, and pulled me closer into himself. Then I felt ridiculous. Sure, I still felt like his four-year-old daughter, but I looked like I was just his age. Like _he_ could have been my mate.

He chuckled. "Just want to protect my baby girl from the world," he whispered into my ear.

Mom glanced at him and rolled her eyes at me.

"Isn't Alice done yet?" Emmett came up behind us, sulking, his arm wrapped tightly around Rosalie's waist.

"No." Rose tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Carlisle hasn't worked his magic yet. He wants her to struggle a little bit."

"I'm so _bored_," Emmett moaned. He grinned at me. "Having fun, Nessie? Looks like that young man over there enjoys the view." He nodded discreetly at the boy in the café and I felt myself turn red.

"Emmett," Dad said warningly. "Don't encourage anything."

"Carlisle…"Rosalie whined.

He shrugged helplessly and went over to Alice. He whispered a few words to the baggage checker and I saw a few bills change hands. We were all moving.

Mom winked at me, and I shook my head. I guess it was funny. But really, how could anything be amusing to me right now?

Once we were in the waiting vehicle, I watched the buildings zoom by outside my window with wide eyes. Chicago was so _big_, so _busy_. It was a place to explore, where one could so easily lose herself. Forget herself.

Alice smacked my knee lightly. I wondered what she'd seen. I turned back to the window.

The hugeness of the buildings amazed me. The number of the people on the streets dazzled me. There had to be more to this city than there was in the life I lived now. In such a huge place, there had to be some way for me to find a different path, to forget about Jake, to leave Forks behind.

I thought I might actually be okay with leaving Forks.

Maybe Mom was right. Maybe I needed a change of scenery to make me feel better, maybe I needed to get out and do things to help me to forget. Then the idea of forgetting my Jacob hit me hard and I curled up into a tight little ball, sobbing again.

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The house was strange, echo-y, empty. Unfamiliar. It was beautiful, I suppose. Timeless, like Grandma and Grandpa's house back in Forks. Graceful, tall, wide, with a winding front porch and what seemed to be the only lawn in all of Chicago.

Dad nudged me gently. "This was my house," he said, his voice low. "I lived here when I was human."

I looked up at it again, trying to imagine Dad as a little boy, running around in the massive rooms I was sure sat behind the elegant white façade of the house. I couldn't picture it. "You lived _here_?"

"Esme fixed it up a little bit." His voice was hoarse. Mom pulled him into her and he rested his head on her shoulder briefly before Grandpa stopped the car. Everyone spilled out, grabbing bags and boxes, except for me. I got out slowly, looking up at the huge, strange house.

Jacob had never been to this house. Jacob would never come to this house. The open door showed wide, empty hallways. Empty of memories, empty of love, empty of anything. Like the emptiness inside me.

Esme came back out, her arms empty of luggage, and saw me. Instead of coming to the overflowing trunk, she came to me, and wrapped an arm around me. "Are you doing okay, Nessie?"

I nodded, unable to trust my voice.

She tightened her arm around me. "It's going to be okay, darling. I promise. We are all going to miss Jacob. Not as much as you will, I know. But we are all going to have to move on."

Move on. It was a phrase I'd heard far, far too much of late. I didn't need – want – to think about moving on. Moving on meant losing the past, losing control of everything I had so solidly built up around myself. Four years of my life – four years of perfection. All gone now, gone with Jacob. Thanks to the idea of moving on.

I clasped Esme's hand gently and then squirmed out from under her arm. "That's easier said than done." Then I turned and ran away, childishly, up the winding wooden steps into the house.

"Renesmee?" Alice called, when I was barely through the door.

Who else? "Yes, Alice?"

"Come up here. You need to see your room."

I rolled my eyes and danced upstairs to the sound of her voice. "This it?" I looked in and saw what looked almost exactly like my room back in Forks. The CDs on the floor. Jacob's Chair next to the bed. The sheets that had been on my bed back home. And a picture, on the bedside table, of Jake and me standing side-by-side, our arms tight around each other and our faces happy.

My eyes filled with tears. "You decorated this?"

She slipped her arms around my waist. "Yes, Renesmee. It's just like back home."

I nodded, a tear slipping down my nose. "Thank you."

Alice smiled up at me and pressed an envelope into my hands. "This is for you. From Jacob. Right before the fight. He said to read it when you're ready. I'll leave you alone." Quietly, she slipped out the door.

I looked down at the envelope, my heart pounding. _To my darling Nessie_ read the too-familiar handwriting on the front.

_If you're reading this, I'm gone. I can't believe it. I can't stand it. I can't stand knowing what you must be going through now. I can't stand the idea that I'm putting you through it._

_Your mom told me that if things don't work out, you're going to have to move. Move to where? I can't imagine you not living in Forks. She said something about Chicago. It's a big city. Full of strange people. Strange things. Things that you'll have to learn about without me._

_Oh, Nessie, I'm sorry that our time together is so short. I'm sorry about all the things we'll never have time to do. I'm sorry that there will be no more hunts in the rain, no more midnight wanderings, and no more picnics on the beach. I'm sorry that I'll never be able to tell you that I love you again, that I'll never see your perfect face. I'm sorry that we'll never go cliff diving or start a family of our own. I'm sorry… for everything._

_Be brave for me, darling. Be strong._

But I couldn't read anymore. I couldn't see. The letters all blurred together on the page, and I folded it carefully and tucked it back into the envelope. I wasn't ready to be strong. I wasn't ready to be brave.

I found an empty drawer in the monster desk Alice had dragged in here, and jammed the letter into the darkest, farthest corner. Looking around the room, I saw the reminders that I hadn't been strong enough to put away. Now I wasn't strong enough to look at them. I picked up all the CDs and shoved them into the back of the closet. I flipped over the picture on the bedside table so I didn't have to see our smiling faces.

When I curled up on the bed, I smelled Jacob in the sheets. I willed myself not to cry, but I'd never felt so alone. So disconnected.

Everything fell into place. I was in Chicago, without Jacob. I would never be here with him. I would never be with him again.

Ever.

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**If I get... actual reviews... on this, I'll update. Or else it dies. Like the rest of the world.**


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